Model of Destruction

I regret that I have to bring some sad and shocking news to readers of Hackster News today. Just when everything seemed to be going fine with human-computer relations, another computer has decided to take control from us silly and fickle humans and destroy the world. We have none other than Raspberry Pi’s Maker in Residence, Toby Roberts, to blame for this tragic turn of events. More than 40 years after a nuclear holocaust was narrowly avoided by teaching the superintelligent War Operation Plan Response (WOPR) computer a lesson in mutual assured destruction, Roberts has resurrected this machine.

I wish there was a glimmer of hope I could offer, but the news only gets worse. While the original WOPR was a very powerful supercomputer 40 years ago, the Raspberry Pi 4 single-board computer that powers Roberts’ new scale model is far more powerful. We cannot expect the usual tricks — like teaching the computer an unexpected lesson, or presenting it with seemingly conflicting information until it starts smoking and explodes — to be of any help to us. The end is imminent, my dear friends.

Sure, this model looks innocent enough, with its cute little 3D-printed and laser-cut MDF parts. These parts were glued together before being sanded and painted in an appropriate industrial gray color. WOPR was then topped off with silver lettering that was produced with a Cricut machine. But I urge you not to be deceived by appearances. Inside is nothing more than a cold, calculating machine that is intent on our destruction.

Again, I remind you to keep your wits about you. Deception runs deep with WOPR. A slew of blinking Adafruit NeoPixels that are triggered on boot flash in mesmerizing patterns to lull us into a sense of safety. Ohh! Look at the shiny things! Hey, what was that explosion? Probably nothing. So flashy!

A Raspberry Pi Touch Display 2 was also deviously employed to throw off anyone that saw through the distraction of the NeoPixels. This is programmed to play clips from 1980s movies so that we can shout out the titles as soon as we recognize them. What does that sound like to you? That’s right, a game! Do not play a game with WOPR. No matter how politely the computer asks, never play a game with it. Especially not "Global Thermonuclear War."

Should anyone come vis-à-vis with this diabolical machine and find they have been tricked into playing a game despite all the warnings, remember that tic-tac-toe is your best choice — and set the number of players to zero. Godspeed, fellow hackers.